The Importance of Being Present.
NaBloPoMo Prompt: If you could permanently get rid of one worry, what would it be?
I was planning to skip this one since today is my oldest son's birthday and I wanted to make sure I was fully present. As luck would have it, though, the baby needed to get home for her nap, so I have a few minutes to spare while the boys have lunch.
Initially when I read this question, I thought I knew precisely how I would answer it: If I could
permanently rid myself of one worry, it would be my fear of losing a loved one prematurely. That concern looms so large in my heart and mind that I often cannot sleep. I know I'm not alone in this, either.
Yet, the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that ensuring my dear ones would be around might not have the desired effect. Honestly, I believe it would make me complacent. I know this because I've wasted so much time already. In this day and age, it is especially difficult to be present all the time because there are so many forces vying for our attention. More often than I'd like to admit, those outside forces triumph over the seemingly-insignificant moments that occur throughout my day. In fact, very recently, my lack of presence has been an issue. My husband pointed out to me that I was missing out on these important moments in favor of connecting with others online. And it was hurting him and the kids.
I was shocked because I had no idea, and I had no idea because I wasn't paying attention! This was precisely his point.
I've since taken steps to limit my time "away" from the family, making sure to keep it structured so as to minimize the mindlessness. It wasn't easy at first, and I absolutely resented it. Now, having several weeks under my belt, I can see and feel the changes in myself as well as my family. I'm noticing the physical world around me, feeling real connections, and creating lasting memories. It has been an indescribable experience; the longer I do it, the more I want to continue to push myself further. For the first time, the question of "where will this take me?" doesn't fill me with fear or anxiety, just excitement.