Recovery Is A Process.
Prompt: Do you think it is possible to heal on our own, or do we always need to reach out for the comfort of other people in order to fully heal?
When it comes to something as personal as healing from trauma, the road to recovery varies from person to person. For example, I really need my small, but potent group of loved ones to help me process life's obstacles and disappointments. I lean more towards extroversion, so seeking the energy of others makes sense. My husband, on the other hand, is more of an introvert. He needs regular time away from others in order to be alone with his thoughts and feelings; the solitude allows him to find clarity without the noise of outside opinions. I didn't really understand this when we first got married. In fact, I was hurt that he didn't want to to be THISCLOSE every single minute of the day. It took me far too long to understand that marriage shouldn't be about me, but us, and I had to start thinking of his needs, too. Now, I regularly check in with him to make sure he gets the peace and quiet he requires. Sometimes, it means schlepping the kids out of the house for a few hours; other times, it's giving him space to work in the other room after the kids are in bed. Likewise, when I need to talk, he's present and thoughtful, allowing me to work through my thoughts aloud. In addition, I schedule fairly regular outings with my girlfriends which allows me to gab to my heart's content and give my husband a mental health break.
We've been happily married for over a decade, and I'm convinced this arrangement is one of the reasons why. I entered into this union so broken and wounded, but over the years, I've gotten closer and closer to wholeness. It hasn't been easy, but it will always be worth it.