Do you believe that time heals all wounds?
I want to answer both yes and no to this question. On the one hand, the idea of simply "waiting out" my most damaging past experiences until they don't haunt or hurt me sounds awesome, but also ludicrous.
, I've been subscribing to this notion for over 20 years only to find out that
outrun my issues is the not same as healing. You can imagine my disappointment.
provides distance, often bringing much-needed perspective along with it. Understanding can allow us to peel away the layers and make sense of our pain, which sounds a lot like healing to me. The timeline of this unpacking is different for everyone, though. For some, the process can begin almost immediately after a crisis; for others, myself included, the denial is damn near impenetrable, so recovery takes significantly longer and is often compounded by the various coping mechanisms enacted as protection.
I think perhaps my problem with the idea of healing is that it conveys a feeling of being "done" with a tragedy. Getting passed over for a promotion is definitely a challenging setback, but certainly one that can be overcome. Losing a loved one, though? I don't think one ever truly recovers from that. Folks just try to survive the hurt.
As a believer and a fan of C.S. Lewis, the quote at the beginning of this post resonates with me. The most uncomfortable aspects of my past have taught me the most, even when I wasn't directly responsible. My parents' divorce has taught me how to recognize the real love my husband and I share. The tragic death of a friend's child forcibly brought insight into--and appreciation for--life. Encountering the laziness of racism has taught me to think critically and have compassion for others. Many of my failures created the very foundation of my highest achievements; in both of those moments, in the valleys and the peaks, I have felt His presence.
is precisely the point.