Hiding In Plain Sight.
It's Saturday, 'tis true, but Five Minute Friday is still going on, so I'm not too late! Hooray!
I've fought the urge to crawl into the smallest crevice possible, curl up into a ball, and hide from the world until everything makes sense. If I were a child, this would be acceptable, but alas, I am an adult who must face my circumstances just as they are. Instead of running and cowering, I've been leaning into the fire, allowing it to burn away all that no longer serves me. He is refining me, and although it is excruciating and agonizing work, I am certain it is exactly what I have always needed.
See, I've recently learned I'm an introvert, which means my seemingly placid surface belies a vibrant inner world. I basically hid in plain sight for decades. Part of it was self-preservation because I grew up in a household with high standards and a somewhat strict interpretation of religious beliefs. Thus, my authentic self remained hidden to virtually everyone but a trusted few. After awhile, I got used to compartmentalizing who I was around different people.
This process of refinement, however, has put me back in touch with who I am, wholly, without guilt, shame, or embarrassment. It has been incredibly heartening to embrace my likes, dislikes, desires, and impulses, rather than shunning, dimming, or minimizing them. At 33, I am finally unafraid to be myself, and there's no more reason to hide.