10 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Pregnant Person!
This list was developed based on an informal poll conducted by myself and other pregnant folks. Frankly, the comments have gotten totally out of hand, so I thought I'd do my part to put an end to the perpetual foot-in-mouth disease that seems to plague people whenever they encounter a burgeoning belly.
1. "You sure you're not having twins (or triplets, etc.)?"
This is not funny, clever or original. It does, however, make the utterer look like a serious tool. Unless that's what you're going for, Shut. It. Down.
2. "How much weight have you gained?"
Before I answer, let's have a detailed discussion about your sexual history. What? That's personal information that is none of my damn business? Oh.
3. "You're how many months along? Oh my gosh, you've got a LONG way to go!"
Another astute observation by Captain Obvious. Thanks for making sure I understand just how long I'm going to be in various stages of growing discomfort.
4. "You look ready to pop!"
My main problem with this statement is the horrible imagery and the fact that someone somewhere has to say it to a pregnant woman. Let's just retire it, shall we?
5. "Due any day now, eh?"
Actually, I've got __ more months of growth and swelling to endure in 100 degree heat.
6. "Your double chin is so adorable!"
Okay, this has never happened to me, but I imagine I'd be mortified and very, very angry. The issue is that it's a horrible insult masked as some sort of compliment, which is never okay.
7. "Wow! You look really uncomfortable."
It's best not to call attention to an issue that a pregnant woman is more than aware of, alrighty? And if this is accompanied by a pitying look and a patronizing back pat, shame on you.
8. "Whoa, check out that waddle!"
No, no, NO.
9. "Hey... look at you."
Hesitation and awkwardness are not your friends, especially when it comes to viewing a woman in the full bloom of pregnancy. Find a way to compliment her or just don't say anything at all.
10. "Too bad about that 'no alcohol' thing. I don't know how you do it--I'd TOTALLY be going crazy!"
What? I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over my deafening need for a perfectly chilled glass of Champagne, or a frosty margarita, or pomegranate-tini, or....
Finally, here's a few things that are ALWAYS appropriate to say:
1. "You look beautiful."
2. "You're positively glowing!"
3. "I can't believe how tiny you are!"